Marriage Takes Work

Many people view marriage as an escape from being single only to get married then day dream about being single again. Marriage is a covenant of 3. You, Your Spouse and God. And these 3 are supposed to be 1. But many marriage consist of 2 individuals that sometimes listens to the 1 that created them. But true marriage is 1+1+1=1. God=1 + Man(Adam) made in Gods image =1+Eve(made out of Adam) 1=1 God the creator, Adam his Image and Eve from the rib of his image. The fact is in order for a marriage to survive we must understand we we hurt or mistreat our spouses we are really hurting and mistreating ourselves and our God. 

If you are single learn to love yourself and God before you bring anyone else in the picture 

If you are engaged to get married be honest with who you are and where you are, address past hurts and disappointments before you say I do, so you can get past your pass so you can embrace your future. So you can love the one your with and not still struggle from the hurts of those they mistreated you. 

If your married, remember to love your spouse as you love yourself. And be true to the 3 that make 1 because of you mistreat 1 of the three you will have to answer to the 1 that created you in his image. 

Marriage is not easy but if we do it God's way it is not as difficult as some make it seem. 

Protecting your marriage

Protecting our Marriages from Erosion caused by the constant little attacks of the enemy. 

A land owner had a beautiful house that sat upon a cliff that overlooked the ocean. It was the incredible view of the ocean that was the motivator that moved him to purchase the property. 

What he did not notice was that overtime the tide was slowly eroding the soil that held together the land that his house rested upon. Many of his neighbors had support walls installed to "Secure" their homes, but this land owner was more focused on his view than he was protecting his home from certain destruction. 

One day he returned home to find his house sliding off the beautiful cliff that it rested upon. It was not until then that he sought help to try to save his house. He was told his house was beyond saving, his best bet would be simply salvaging some of his belongings. 

Many couples find themselves in the same situation. They have been enjoying the beauty of marriage but not protecting the foundation that holds it all together. And it is not until the house is falling off the cliff that we seek help. In most cases we are left with trying to salvage our belongings in the process of loosing our marriages through divorce. 

It is our prayer as the Facilitators of the New-growth Marriage Retreats and Enrichment Sessions, that each couple can protect their marriage from the deliberate erosion caused by the daily attacks of the Enemy. 

We must be determined to be 

1. Proactive and not just Reactive 

2. Understanding and Forgiving 

3. Resistant to the Urge to judge our spouse

4. Willing to understand that we think differently and willing to accommodate the position of our spouse. 

5. Vigilant in prayer lives, understanding Satan desires for us to abandon the covenant of love that we have pledged to each other.  

6. Willing to pray before responding to the sneak attacks of the enemy. 

Our marriages can be healthy and last until death due us part if we are willing to seek God daily so that we are always standing on a firm foundation.

Your marriage must change.

Often times we get stuck in our marriages and we say things like I want things to be how they use to be, but the fact is things can never be the way they use to be because as human beings we are always changing and evolving. So we must learn how to get our marriages to evolve as we evolve as individuals. We must constantly fine new things to love about our spouses as they evolve and as we evolve as well.It is like looking at a precious jewel from multiple angles you begin to enjoy all sides of the jewel even when you discover what other may see as  imperfections, through the eyes of love you see these things as what makes them valuable, unique and precious.  (‭Proverbs‬ ‭17‬:‭8‬ MSG) Receiving a gift is like getting a rare gemstone; any way you look at it, you see beauty refracted.

Learn to Listen

A foolish person is one that thinks they are always right. Often times when someone is speaking a word that corrects us we get upset and shut our ears. But true wisdom comes when we are able to appreciate and accept the knowledge of others. This holds true in marriage as well. There are some things that my wife knows that I don't because she is better experienced in particular areas,it is better to grow from her testimony then to have to be tested in that area myself.‭ we must learn to put our egos aside so we can hear wisdom (Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭15‬ MSG) Fools are headstrong and do what they like; wise people take advice. 

Never be too prideful to listen to your spouse.

Arrogant know-it-alls stir up discord, but wise men and women listen to each other’s counsel. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭13‬:‭10‬ MSG)

Pride is a silent killer in a marriage. Many of us have it but we don't identify it until it's too late. We think our way is always the right way. Often times refusing to hear the heart of our mate because we already think we know everything including what they are thinking. We must teach ourselves to be better listeners to our spouses so that not only can we hear what they are saying, we will also be able to understand what they are not saying. 

Love your mate today by hearing their hearts and not just your own thoughts. 

Take the limits off.

Many times we enter marriage with expectations of a wife that is a princesses and a man that is a knight in shinning armor. And when those expectations are not met we feel cheated. Marriage is embracing and loving your spouse understanding that they may have some imperfections and remembering they are also loving you with the same thing in mind. I have yet to meet a marriage with two perfect people in it but I have encountered many happily married couples with two imperfect people that are perfect for each other. Love the one God has given you "Flaws and All"

The Blame Game

And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat? And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. (‭Genesis‬ ‭3‬:‭11-12‬ KJV)

As husbands we must follow the directions of God, no excuses. Adam was passive when Eve offered him the fruit of the tree that God told HIM was off limits. Then he blamed God and Eve for HIS disobedience basically excusing himself from blame. It is easy to do things that we know are wrong to keep the peace in our homes. But how peaceful is that peace if it causes us to loose the peace of God?  We are not suppose to intentionally upset our wives by being dictators but instead we should be grace givers and God followers. And we should not get mad at our wives and at God when we get disciplined for our own disobedience. So Husbands love your wives while you stick to Gods Plan. Do what's right in the site of God and you and your family can continue to enjoy the peace that is only found in the Garden (Place God created for you to enjoy).